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Race Results: St. Petersburg
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CarGuru > Indycar > Race Results: St. Petersburg 3 April 2005 23:44:45
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Race Results: St. Petersburg

Media Watch 30 March 2005 18:37:55
 Turn One Pileup At St. Petersburg

Sunday April 3 2005

By Greg Hines (AP)



St.Petersburg, FL (AP) -- A massive crash occurred at the first turn of the
inaugural Vision Grand Prix of Florida. The drivers who were accustomed to only
turning left failed to negotiate the first turn smoothly, or in view of some, at
all. The pole sitter, Helio Castroneves, simply stopped in the middle of the
track and proceeded to weep uncontrollably. The other drivers ran into the back
of his parked Marlboro Team Penske Dallara. The track was clear to the right,
but they couldn't negotiate their way clear. The race was red flagged and none
of the drivers wanted to continue. A brief drivers meeting was held and they
voted not to continue unless the track could be repaired to look like an oval.



The race was declared to have run a full distance and full points were awarded
to Ed Carpenter, no relation to any series official. Ed now mysteriously leads
the championship standings, despite failure to finish in any meaningful way at
previous events. AJ Foyt IV is in second place.



Tony George asked city and track officials to remove any and all right turns,
but was rebuffed in his attempts. " We will have to evaluate out contract with
the city in view of all those dangerous and unnegotiateable corners", a national
IRL spokesman was quoted as saying.

When asked about the incident, Helio retorted " I forgot how to turn right. We
had a lot of practice sessions, but when it came to pulling the trigger, I
couldn't do it". He then broke down crying uncontrobably and had to be removed
by his Penske handlers.

Patrick Carpenter was spotted in the background, being escorted off the premises
by police and reportedly stated " Don't stop the race...I can turn right...Don't
give Ed the win. I can beat him on three wheels". His statements were disputed
by IRL officials and said he was upset at the cancellation of the NFL season.
Other drivers reportedly had similar views, but a national IRL spokesman read a
statement " The drivers were thrilled to visit a city where the strip bars are
better than Indy and some restaurants make the patrons wear shoes. The track
will have to be modified to suit our particular style of driving and all drivers
are thrilled Ed has won his first race...ever".




Add comment
Dave R knows who 30 March 2005 20:40:16 [ permanent link ]
 
by IRL officials and said he was upset at the cancellation of the NFL > season.

Missed it by one letter: H


Add comment
Zip Squeezebox 31 March 2005 07:41:56 [ permanent link ]
 

*sigh* - if only OWRS was worthy of such parody.



How much time did you spend on that?








Add comment
Hadji 1 April 2005 12:56:00 [ permanent link ]
 "Media Watch" <blowmegeorge@indy.­com> wrote in message
news:1112193391.c1f­ca9886e5f64d1c6eb24e­f94c55f35@teranews..­.> Turn One Pileup At St. Petersburg

What a fabulous repeat of history. "The 1996 Indy 500 will be a crash fest
and no one will be running at the end. The US500 will show the world how to
competently start a race."

The sad thing is when (and if) history does repeat itself, the St.
Petersburg race will go just fine, OWRS will have another incompetent
disasterous foul-up, and our desperate trolls will again not understand why
RASI and the world is laughing at the irony.

Hadji


Add comment
First Turn is a Doosey 1 April 2005 19:09:53 [ permanent link ]
 
"Hadji" <jonny@quest.com> wrote in message
news:JMWdnRlFrsfXlt­DfRVn-2A@adelphia.co­m...> "Media Watch" <blowmegeorge@indy.­com> wrote in message> news:1112193391.c1f­ca9886e5f64d1c6eb24e­f94c55f35@teranews..­.> > Turn One Pileup At St. Petersburg>.... and our desperate trolls will again not understand why> RASI and the world is laughing at the irony.>

By referencing RASI, one would assume you are refering to yourself, Zip and
Cary? You would be mistaken if you think there are others.


Add comment
Hadji 2 April 2005 10:36:47 [ permanent link ]
 "First Turn is a Doosey" <tony.said.therefor­e.i.believe@indy.com­> wrote in
message news:1112368095.3fa­d54f65f7fd6b4e81df7d­994a44f92@teranews..­.>
"Hadji" <jonny@quest.com> wrote in message> news:JMWdnRlFrsfXlt­DfRVn-2A@adelphia.co­m...> > "Media Watch" <blowmegeorge@indy.­com> wrote in message> > news:1112193391.c1f­ca9886e5f64d1c6eb24e­f94c55f35@teranews..­.> > > Turn One Pileup At St. Petersburg> >.... and our desperate trolls will again not understand why> > RASI and the world is laughing at the irony.> >
By referencing RASI, one would assume you are refering to yourself, Zip
Cary? You would be mistaken if you think there are others.

So the reason you guys repeatedly broadcast on this newsgroup is because you
believe no one is listening. Sorry, not buying it.

Hadji


Add comment
Carey's Death Watch 2 April 2005 18:12:51 [ permanent link ]
 On Fri, 1 Apr 2005 22:36:47 -0800, "Hadji" <jonny@quest.com> wrote:
"First Turn is a Doosey" <tony.said.therefor­e.i.believe@indy.com­> wrote in>message news:1112368095.3fa­d54f65f7fd6b4e81df7d­994a44f92@teranews..­.>>

So the reason you guys repeatedly broadcast on this newsgroup is because you>believe no one is listening. Sorry, not buying it.>

F -- for reading comprehension. I said there are only three Earls
left.

Save your allowance and buy a clue.
Add comment
Hadji 3 April 2005 00:06:49 [ permanent link ]
 "Carey's Death Watch" <imachump@yahoo.com­> wrote in message
news:1112451178.64d­07fdcf2696cc5eff6f7f­0bad4543a@teranews..­.> On Fri, 1 Apr 2005 22:36:47 -0800, "Hadji" <jonny@quest.com> wrote:>
"First Turn is a Doosey" <tony.said.therefor­e.i.believe@indy.com­> wrote
message news:1112368095.3fa­d54f65f7fd6b4e81df7d­994a44f92@teranews..­.> >>
So the reason you guys repeatedly broadcast on this newsgroup is because
believe no one is listening. Sorry, not buying it.> >
F -- for reading comprehension. I said there are only three Earls> left.>
Save your allowance and buy a clue.

Sorry, not buying it. Now dance some more...

Hee Hee - I shouldn't do that but Sweeney's much to fun to provoke.

Hadji


Add comment
Hadji 3 April 2005 11:27:52 [ permanent link ]
 "Hadji Should Let Bandit Do the Thinking" <imachump@yahoo.com­> wrote in
message news:1112474494.091­df94509d8c7d5be7ccd1­2d1120087@teranews..­.> >Hee Hee - I shouldn't do that but Sweeney's much to fun to provoke.> Clueless, as usual, non?

YES! - I've achieve Sweeney target status; along with IRL reporters, IRL
team owners (one who came in second once at the Indy 500) and several other
racing insiders. I'm no where near the others in terms of racing insider
knowledge, but it's kinda cool being apart of a group proven to be so right
about the future of racing to the hatred of terrorists who would try to
undermine the results of honest capitalists and freedom.

Hadji's Law - The amount of trolls on RASI = (Success of IRL / Success of
OWRS) + Indy500 Factor Constant

It's an especially good vintage of May Whine this year.

Hadji


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CarGuru > Indycar > Race Results: St. Petersburg 3 April 2005 23:44:45
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